Lately I been hating myself on being so out of shape and as I was about to do some push up before the day ends, the thought of having not written a blog for so long hit me. And this bitch almost got me. I paused for a second and ask myself a question: “why do this thought out of nowhere hit me where I am about to do some physical?” and I found out why: I was giving myself an excuse for not doing push up. Because after too long of neglecting my body, doing push up has become a difficult thing to start and my brain just activate some anxiety over somewhere else to distract me and it has been a defend mechanism I been nuturing for so long. On catching one rat, I bitterly realized during the last 6 months I been creating a lot of small work as an excuse for me to wander from the my main campaign mode: covering the same song over and over without really understanding music, hanging out more than I should because of social commitment rather than interest, checking out crypto chart and social because I fear of missing out and most serious - build new apps with no idea how to sell them. I don’t deny that follow the main plot is harshly hard but it is so wrong to bury it with tons of fake work - work that don’t matter and executed without a vision. Good news is that I ended up with 40 pushing up.
my physique rn for your curiousity
Like B-Wine said, it is time to step up my own game, learn to roll my own blunt and move on from them.
Nemo will be back with more post-pushup and post-shower thought.
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